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I told him I would give him space while he figured things out but he said he couldn’t ask me to do that.

I asked if there was a chance for us once he got things sorted and he said he isn’t sure if he sees a future. I remember, years ago, when I was extremely unhappy with my job and a few other areas of my life.

and every moment you’re unhappy you push the guy further and further away.

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or else I won’t be happy,” then you set yourself up for tremendous unhappiness.You see, that style of thinking is completely backwards and it will drive the guy away. Well, it’s simple: Men are attracted to women who are happy (not feeling like they are unhappy unless they “get” specifically what it is that they want).MORE: How to Redeem Yourself After Acting Needy What’s the deadly mindset/perspective that will guarantee you act needy?It’s believing that you could “lose something” or that something could happen that would create a “lack of something” in your life.At the heart of it, it’s the feeling of fear of loss.

When you believe that you could lose something, you’ll instinctively shrink inside and it will take the wind out of your sails.Moreover, it’s in your best interest to live your life in a way that brings you happiness in your moment-to-moment existence without effort…and abandon any perspective or pursuit that has you feeling crappy in your moment-to-moment experience in service of some imagined better future.That doesn’t mean I think the person “probing” is a bad person or that they have a bad intent. I do want the woman I’m with to be OK though; I don’t want her to worry or be upset.It’s more like I don’t want to feel exposed and vulnerable while I’m already in pain. And I don’t want her to see me as anything less than the man that I aspire to be – the man that I am when I’m at my best.My ex broke up with me last month after being together for over a year.