People may mask their feelings because they have learned that others don't react well to their sensitivity.This masking can lead to not acknowledging their feelings even to themselves, which makes the emotions more difficult to manage.Level 5, normalizing, would not work because most people would agree his response was reasonable and not be upset in that situation.
Being able to accurately label feelings is an important step to being able to regulate them.
When someone is describing a situation, notice their emotional state.
Self-validation is the recognition and acceptance of your own thoughts, feelings, sensations and behaviors as understandable. Multi-tasking while you listen to your teenager's story about his soccer game is not being present.
Learning how to use validation effectively takes practice. Being present means giving all your attention to the person you are validating.
The second level of validation is Accurate Reflection.
Accurate reflection means you summarize what you have heard from someone else or summarize your own feelings.Knowing the six levels of validation as identified by Marsha Linehan, Ph. Being present for yourself means acknowledging your internal experience and sitting with it rather than "running away" from it, avoiding it, or pushing it away. Even happiness or excitement can feel uncomfortable at times.Often one of the reasons other people are uncomfortable with intense emotion is that they don't know what to say."Sounds like you're disappointed in yourself because you didn't call him back," could be accurate reflection by someone else. Mindreading is guessing what another person might be feeling or thinking.People vary in their ability to know their own feelings.Remember that you may guess wrong and the person could correct you.