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How much of a problem it is, depends on the degree and type of access and what it means in the context of the marriage.

There is a big difference between a person occasionally viewing pornography with the knowledge and even involvement of their partner to a full-blown betrayal and using adult websites to start affairs with other people.

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ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.

You could see this as a “wake-up call in your marriage to examine problems in the communication between the two of you and to address this.

Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.

Like many problems, it can start innocently at first, with a person visiting sexually titillating sites perhaps out of boredom or a seeking escapism but then it can escalate to other behaviours, such as directly communicating with other people online and over time can become addictive and harmful.

Moving forward In the aftermath of discovering your husband’s online world, it is perfectly understandable that you might feel disgusted and betrayed and to worry as to how much you can trust your husband.

Please fill in as many fields as honestly as you can to start chatting straight away, if you have never visited our chatrooms before then simply leave the "Nickserv Password" field blank. If you want to chat about incest or bestiality then please find another chat provider.

Chatting with an underage person is as bad as being underage.

For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.

This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).

When I spoke to him again about it, he did apologise and said he won’t do it again but he then came out with a load of stuff about how unhappy he was in the marriage, that we never spend time together (which is true), but I don’t think it is fair for him to blame me.