You have to make sure you're serious and your partner is serious before you bring the kiddos into the mix.
For example, my boyfriend was totally fine with letting his kid zone out in front of a Playstation for an entire Saturday afternoon. So it's up to you to point out that this makes you feel uncomfortable and is inappropriate. They practically beg me to take control of their kiddos at the restaurant. They're working, raising the kids, paying all the bills, doing all the housework, and are completely exhausted. I'm not saying you get to send them to their rooms or take away their phones. But sometimes they need to be told to CALM DOWN, STOP DOING THAT, ENOUGH! Because you aren't the parent, you get to do the easy disciplining, such as reminding them to eat over the plate because CRUMBS ARE GETTING EVERYWHERE, reminding them to go take a bath because it's bedtime already GEEZ HURRY UP, and hollering HEY STOP PULLING THE CAT'S TAIL when you hear the wee feline screech in pain. When you date someone who has a child, you're dating that child, too.If this were "my kid," we would have been doing something else. Set the boundary with the boyfriend first -- in private. When they first started having babies, they freaked out if I told their toddlers, "No! Go Ahead and Fall in Love Let that child or children into your heart. Other people's children are such a blessing in my life, and I'm honestly very sad that I don't get to spend time with my ex-boyfriend's son anymore. One of the coolest things my cousin has ever done happened at her wedding.Here are just some of the signs that let you know that it’s time to make a run for it! You act differently around him and it’s not in a positive way. You spend a lot of your time feel edgy, upset, confused, uncertain, insecure – pretty much negative. You’re not really bothered one way or another about him, or the relationship. You’re with him because you’re afraid of being ‘alone’. In order for the relationship to work, you need to cut yourself off from family and friends. You both want very different things on key points that are important to you both, but you’re holding out hope that one day he’ll come round to your way of thinking. You need to sacrifice the essence of yourself – your character and personality – in order for the relationship to work. You feel bad about yourself around him – He doesn’t bring out the best in you. Your gut tells you that he’s not right for you but you ignore it and continue to feel uncomfortable.
You think it’s a relationship but it’s actually closer to a booty call/friends with benefits arrangement. He is controlling – jealousy, possessiveness, emotional and physical abuse.
But I quickly learned that this wasn't my kid, and the rules were different at my boyfriend's house. So if I felt a Playstation attack coming on, I left. I invited them places and if they didn't want to go, I went with someone else or by myself. If he doesn't do anything about it if it happens again, go straight to the kid. (And I can hear the parents recoiling that the childless girl is suggesting it! She not only gave vows to her new husband, she also gave vows to her new stepson.
When you date someone who has a child, they can feel that their life has more "weight" than yours -- like you should do whatever they want to do based on their schedules and needs. Be gentle, but let them know that things are a-changin' in the house. If I ever find myself in that situation, I'll totally do it, too.
Because of this, I was drawn to people like my best friend, who was dynamic and bold.
She was the one who things happened to, the starting point of every story. He, in turn, went to find my friend and her boyfriend, who were none too pleased at having to leave so soon after we got there. Hearing that he wanted more felt like wading into the deep end. had feelings for me, I felt strange every time I saw him.
(It's a small town, so we kind of knew each other, but not really.) I was extra, extra lucky because my boyfriend had a (mostly) good relationship with her.