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She was smart, she was sexy, she was financially independent – and she had no time to give to me.

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So instead of giving up on the whole thing – which, as you know – is incredibly shortsighted, given that you have 50 more years on this earth, how about you change focus?

Middle-aged divorced men understand what it’s like to be you.

Single guys in their mid-30s who want to have their own biological kids in four years don’t.

They want to take spontaneous romantic trips to Vegas, which is something that’s hard to do with four children of your own.

Instead of dating cute 34-year-old single guys who don’t have kids, how about you date cute 43-year-old guys who are in the exact same spot in life, who understand your predicament, who have obligations of their own, and who will be delighted to meet a woman who gets THEM.

You shouldn’t quit because single men your age want sex and more time. So I stay away from that for the same reasons that men stay away from women with children..There’s no way that I – or most men who don’t have their shit together – would willingly enter into a relationship with a woman who has so many other responsibilities, the way all moms do.At risk of making myself look bad, I once dated a single mom of a two-year-old.I’d venture to guess that your sex-oriented guys feel the same way. You shouldn’t quit because single men your age want sex and more time.You should just find a guy who is looking for a Brady Bunch family, who sees sex as the icing on the cake instead of the cake itself.Dear Christina, Before I give you the pep talk you need, let me first acknowledge the painful truths that you’ve eloquently outlined above. Having four kids under the age of 9 is a huge handicap.