Q: How many Stoners does it take to change a light bulb A: Who cares man, its to bright in here anyway!
A: He answered the phone while ironing his clothes Q: What do you call a stoner flying through the hallways in college? A: A fungi Q: Did you hear about the stoners who were planning to rob the medical marijuana shop?
Q: What is the difference between politicians and stoners ?
What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend?
When a tweeker is driving down a road he is driving about 200 mph, and talking to the upholstery. If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving?
What's the difference between a stoner and a tweeker? When a pothead is driving down a road he is driving about 20 mph and eating the upholstery.
" So one day a boy asked a girl can you suck my dick, and the girl replied "No I am a vegetarian, I smoke them trees." Weed Mantras Don't drink and drive. Party hardy rock and roll, Drink a fifth smoke a bowel, Pots a plant it grows in the ground If god didnt want it it wouldn't be around So all you assholes who dont get high just shut the fuck up and give it a try Roll Roll, Roll, a joint pass it down the line Take a toke hold your smoke blow your fuckin mind I was here, but now I'm not, I'm round da corner smokin' pot! One the way he bumps into a guy who is all bloody and mangled. So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree.
Always take your driver's license picture STONED, so when you get pulled over, the cop will think you always look like that. " Smoking Weed Is Fun To Do I Bet One Day You'Ll Do It Too A Bong A Blunt Maybe Even A Joint They All Get You High, Get My Point So With One Single Puff, As You Take It All In This Is Where The Fun Begins I May Be As High, As High As The Sun But Who Gives A Fuck Its Not Hurtting No One Some Say Its Bad, Like All Other Drugs But You'Ll Say Fuck It Once You Look At These Buds With These Few Last Words I Tell You My Friend Light That Blunt Up And Let The Fun Begin Stoners live and stoners die, But in the end we all get high, So, if at first you don't suceed, Fuck this world and smoke some weed. Stoner Prayer Now I pass out into sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep Grant no other stoner take My weed and bong before I wake Keep me safely in thy sight And grant no crackhead's thrill tonight And in the morning let me awake Breathing scents of wake 'n bake God protect me in my dreams and make this better than it seems Grant the time may siwftly fly When myself shall be so high In a green grass weed bed Where I long to rest my head Far away from all these scenes And the smell of bammer smoked by beans Take me back into the land Where the cops never take you out Where the weed won't burn my throat like sand; Where the scent of chronis blows Where the good Mary Jane grows; Take me back and I'll promise then Never to leave BC again Weed Bar Jokes The Party A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to walk home. A: When your bong gets washed more than your dishes! Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers ? Q: What do you do if you see a space man while getting high? Q: What do you call a person who remembers what they did at woodstock ? Q: What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt? Q: How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?