Talk about rebound………he started to email me and call several times per day and because I am not the “rebound” girl, I slowed things down and poof!
Ben said: 'I was taken rather by surprise when my daughter told me one day: "Dad, I really want a stepmum." My wife's death meant I'd taken on the role of two parents, but family life missed a woman's touch.'So, unwittingly helped on by my daughter, I realised it was time to look for companionship.' Despite going on a series of dates, Ben failed to meet the attractive, kind and good-humoured woman he hoped would be a companion for him and stepmother to his son and daughter.
But as I read more I thought: 'I don't have those agendas.' For me, the time to have children feels long gone, and I'm OK with that.I'm not looking for some knight in shining armour to marry me.Any woman Ben meets now has to be happy and content with her own life, because his children will always come first and that’s paramount to him. I, too, have tried dating websites — the results are hilarious.One man asked me to text a picture of what I was wearing at night.Next, something I know (and have stated repeatedly) about men – of all ages: We do what we want. Which means that even if many widowers throw themselves into new relationships because of their tremendous loneliness, THIS one seems to be functioning more like your basic super-successful middle-aged man. You can give him an extra-wide berth because he’s newly single, but be forewarned: a man who is newly single (and is keeping a little distance) is probably going to want to get a greater sampling of what’s available instead of diving right back into commitment.
If he were lonely and desperate to get married, I’d feel better about your chances, but he’s not.
You know what a widower’s left with when his wife dies? A man’s inability to survive without a woman is a big explanation why a widower is often a very hot ticket on the open market – he’s LOOKING to be married again. But, at a certain point, a man has to step up and give you a reasonable amount of attention and comfort.
Factor in the dearth of older men – there are literally 3 times more single women over the age of 65 – and, well, a decent looking widower doesn’t stay available for very long. And if he fails, he risks losing the woman he cares about.
I’ve been on my own since 2010, but as a parent you keep going like a hamster on a wheel.
There’s simply no choice but to think: ‘There’s light at the end of the tunnel.’I didn’t want my children to feel sad, so I forced myself to keep laughing.
My question is this – does this apply to widowers as well or is it fair to give him a little more time and just get busy with other things so I don’t put pressure on him?